Poems & Prose

Carley dear, you touched our lives so briefly
Yet your impact is felt deeply.
A tiny angel from Heaven's Gate,
We waited for you not knowing fate

Would call you back to Heaven once more
With only a brief stay on our shore.
Your shining ray of perfect light
Will guide us through this school of life

That leads us all once again
Back to our Maker and to our friends.
Watch for us, Carley, with each dawn
We'll be with you soon, it won't be long.

The truth we hold, and won't let go,
It's more than you will ever know,
Your accomplishment are far greater than
Many who live a life full-span.

Smiling down from Heaven above
You remind us to cherish the ones we love.
And we love you deeply, precious one
Thank you for all that you have done!

Fingerprints

Your fingerprints are on my heart.
Even though I never held your hand -
you touched me.

God's Angels

Tomorrow is a beat away
but for some it never comes.
Some who had years of joy
and some who were so young.

It never seems quite fair to us
why they had to go.
Dreams of who they might have been
we'll really never know.

I believe that every now and then
God makes a mistake
by sending down and angel
in a child's place.

But God's angels are so dear to Him
so He must take them home.
So know that's where this child has gone
back to heaven she had to go.

It's me God, but I'm not talking to You right now

I've said since Cassy died, that I wasn't sure what I believed in anymore. Tonight, with help from my wonderful next door neighbor, Bruce, I finally made some sense of my confusion.

I thought I might be somewhere between an atheist and a Christian. I wasn't sure I believed in God, heaven, prayer, etc. But I've come to realize this.

I believe in heaven, because I believe Cassy is an angel and that angels come from heaven. And when I die, I want to go to heaven to be with my Cassy.

I believe in Hell, because I know that if I kill myself, that's where I'll go. I know that if I go to Hell, I won't get to be with my Cassy.

I believe in prayer, because when someone says they are praying for me, I tell them "Thank you". I don't tell them that, I am grateful for their prayers, because I don't have the strength to pray for myself.

My confusion in what I believed, stems from not being able to pray. I am angry at God. Like a small child, I am pouting and won't talk to Him. He has taken my precious daughter away and left me with unanswered questions.

I find myself relieved, that I still have my beliefs. Even though I am unable to pray right now, I assume the day will come, when I will get that back too.

For now, knowing that I am a Christian, albeit a non-praying one, gives me a modicum of comfort. I will join my precious daughter in heaven some day. And just as I love my children, even if they did something I didn't like, I know that God still loves me. Even if I'm not speaking to Him just yet.

                                                                                                     ~ Connie Small,
                                                                                                     In memory of
                                                                                                     her 20 yr old daughter,
                                                                                                     Cassy

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

somewhere i have never travelled

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
through i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, I and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Stay Within

Don't venture out.
Not yet,
This is to be our only time
to love and be together.
We are still one.

When somebody dies, a cloud turns into
an angel, and flies up to tell God
to put another flower on a pillow.
A bird gives the message back to
the world, and sings a silent prayer
that makes the rain cry. People dis-
appear, but they never really go away.
The spirits up there put the sun to
bed, wake up grass, and spin the
earth in dizzy circles. Sometimes you
can see them dancing in a cloud during
the day-time, when they're supposed
to be sleeping. They paint the rain-
bows and also the sunsets and make
waves splash and tug at the tide.
They toss shooting stars and listen to
wishes. And when they sing wind-
songs, they whisper to us, don't
miss me too much. The view is nice
and I'm doing just fine.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in Heaven
Where the love of our lost ones pours through
and shines down on us to let us know they are happy
(inspired by an Inuit legend)

"In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God."

~Aeschylus

For Carley God's Angels It's me, God IX somewhere i have never travelled Stars Stay Within Fingerprints Desiderata When Somebody Dies In Our Sleep