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Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them. For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ~Mk 10:14 Carley's Site was last updated 01/03/02 10:47:49 PM
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While the morphine dulled my pain, it also dulled my senses. When Dr.
Downard checked my progress again at 6:00 Tuesday morning, I was still only 2-3
centimeters dilated. He and Dr. Leeds told me to expect to deliver late that afternoon. A whole day
longer? How could I wait another day? And I had to change nurses again. I had so hoped that I'd deliver
before Sarah's shift ended. Even though I knew that my doctor wouldn't be
there, I wanted for Sarah to be there with me. She promised she'd be
thinking of me, though, and she promised that Shawna would take good care of me.
I have to admit, the events of Tuesday are a bit of a blur, as I'm sure you can understand. The most significant thing I remember from that morning is that my epidural stopped working around 10:00. Whether it was me pressing on the line or something else I don't know, but all of a sudden, I could start to feel my legs, and along with that, I began to feel the horrendous contractions that the Pitocin creates. I remember burying my head underneath a pillow so I could scream and cry - and I did just that for more than a half-hour. Shawna stood right beside me and rubbed my back until Dr Drawbond came back with his "magic bolus of anesthetic". She talked to me a lot about what was going to happen, and gave me an idea when we would start. She dried my tears and answered my questions, and did her best to respect my wishes... one of my big requests was to avoid using a Foley catheter. Putting a cath in is easier for the nurses - you just have to change the bags... but Shawna respected that request and let me do things on my own - she helped me along when she had to and she cleaned up after me without one complaint. I think of all the training that this woman has had in medicine, and I see her doing this incredibly menial task to protect the dignity of this one patient... and I see a medical professional who is truly compassionate and dedicated to those she cares for. The noon hour brought with it a bunch of my friends and co-workers. In an effort to ease my pain while we were waiting for Dr Drawbond, Shawna had given me a larger dose of morphine, so I was very tired and things were quite out-of-focus. As people slipped in and out of the room, I know I spoke to them, and they held my hands and talked to me, and I remember being so grateful to see them there... but I don't remember too much else. I remember asking Wendy to clear the room. When we drew closer to the time for me to push, I did not want to see anyone but Steve and Shawna. It was just too much, and I was starting to panic. And then 2:00 came, and the work began. Continue
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Although many people bypass
guestbooks, I would like very much to know who has taken the time, even if only
a few moments, to get to know my daughter. Please, take a few more moments
and sign her guestbook. It would mean a great deal to me!
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