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Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them. For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ~Mk 10:14 Carley's Site was last updated 01/03/02 10:47:49 PM
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The "manager" in me kicked in again - you know, that part of me that
begins to direct the situation to keep me from having to feel too much - I
told them that I'd like to have her baptism at 5:00. I asked both Dr Leeds
and Shawna if they would like to attend, and was honored when they both agreed.
He left the room to discuss the birth with our family and she helped put me back
together again. I kept glancing at Carley, but busied myself brushing my
hair and straightening the sheets. It was so surreal. There was my
beautiful daughter... I had envisioned this day for the last nine months... this
was not what I envisioned.
Finally, after there was nothing left for me to do, I took a deep breath and asked Shawna to bring her to me. She was nestled in receiving blankets and a little white stocking cap. She had the prettiest little mouth. She pouted, and I thought she looked like I do when I sleep. (How do I know what I look like when I sleep? Steve has taken pictures of me dozing on the couch.) I didn't know what I expected, or feared, but she looked just like a tiny doll, sweet and serene, simply perfect. And I cried some more. Wendy led our family in, and when everyone had come, the door was closed and the healing began. We prayed together the words of the 23rd Psalm, I lay there, mute, just holding her, looking at no one in particular, just trying to keep from falling apart. Wendy read a prayer that Steve had written, and through our quiet sobs, we thanked the Lord for Carley, and for giving us the strength to live on without her. Wendy took Carley in her arms and with water from our baptismal font, blessed her in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. The very last part of the service was my gift to her. I wanted to sing her a lullaby. I chose a verse from one of my favorite church hymns... the one we sang at our wedding. In this Very Room Continue |
Although many people bypass
guestbooks, I would like very much to know who has taken the time, even if only
a few moments, to get to know my daughter. Please, take a few more moments
and sign her guestbook. It would mean a great deal to me!
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